MyThoughts

No Subject!

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 01:02:44 GMT

Nothing much to update, really. I've been really happy lately, and not entirely sure why! I'm not complaining or anything, it's just the first time in a long time that I can remember not really having anything to worry about all the time, or something consuming me. I can just focus on school and friends, and I like that. I'm glad to be glad!

Love you all!! <3333

New layout!

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 02:35:20 GMT

I threw together a new layout because I was getting bored of the other one.
Had a good Christmas (iPod nano!)
Had a good new years (Char!)
Back in Sudbury, starting school up again soon.
Not much to say, just needed an excuse to show off my layout!!

Hair Cut!

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 21:25:17 GMT

After going six months without a hair cut, I finally got one today. It was getting long and split-endy, so I caved. I like it, but it's still growing on me. I usually like it better after I wash it myself, so we'll see. I haven't decided whether I think it looks trashy or trendy... see for yourselves.

This one's my favourite shot

There we are. My attempts at taking pictures of myself. They almost look a little emo, but I swear I tried not to. The third one looks a little scary... Ah well, all in good fun! Let me know what you think!

Miss me?

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 05:30:24 GMT

Yes, it's true. After a hiatus of about four months, I have decided to return to Live Journal. Maybe not as frequently as before, but I'm back in the game nonetheless.

The main reason for this post is because I have come up with a list of must-do's for this time I have off from school! Not that I can't do any of it at school, I'd just much rather hang around you dorks as long as possible =)
1. Go skiing/snowboarding
2. Go tobogganning (the spelling... I know...)
3. Build a snowman and make a snow angel
4. Go skating
5. Have a Monty Python-a-thon (that one's reserved for Katie!)
6. Drink hot chocolate beside a fire (preferrably one that's in a fireplace)

There it is. Any takers? Let me know! My schedule is wide open.

Over and out!

FROSH

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 16:25:08 GMT

Well, I made it to Sudbury! The following documentation is mostly for my own purposes, but as always, feel free to read it, because I really wouldn't be posting it here if I didn't want anyone to see it!
Saturday was move-in day, with a wake up call of 6:30am!!! Fortunately I slept through most of the four hour drive.
So we finally made it to Laurentian University, and I get to meet my roommate! Firstly, I'll explain that I have an apartment-style dorm with 4 other girls. 3 of them are in 3rd or 4th year and they have their own rooms, and my roommate and I have a double room. My roommate's name is Danielle, and she's a fairly nice girl. However, I have noticed a few things... For example, the girl does not know the meaning of empathy! I was really, really homesick on Saturday night, and all she could say was that she was lucky, because her parents live an hour away, and that she's going home every weekend anyway. At least recognize that I've said something before you start being completely self-centred. Then, one of my suitemates is Amelie, she's from Quebec. She speaks English fairly well, but with a heavy accent. Danielle's dad is French and her mom is not, so she's very fluent in both languages. Now, whenever Danielle speaks to Amelie, she (for some reason unknown) finds it necessary to put on an accent of her own! Just subtly, but I'm sure Amelie would be able to understand her just fine if she spoke English normally... she understands me! I'm not saying that I don't like Danielle, I'm just saying that there are a few things that rub me the wrong way about her, and that I really can't see us being close friends after this year is up. My mind is still open, and I'm not saying that I'm unhappy, I just don't see myself being friends with her in an environment where I don't have to be (ie next year). That said, let's move on.
The parentals were in a rush on Saturday because they had to make it to the cottage by 7pm, so we went for a quick lunch (with new roommate in tow) then did some grocery shopping, they helped me unload everything, and were on their way. I'll admit that I had tears in my eyes when I was hugging them goodbye, but I kept it together until they left and I could make a mad dash for the bathroom to start a major pity party. The rest of Saturday just consisted of more unpacking, decorating a bit, and all that superfun stuff. In the evening, I was a mess, and I had to cry really, really quietly so as not to wake my roommate, but I still bawled my eyes out.
Sunday saw a very big improvement. That was the day that I got all my books ($430 worth!), my student ID (I look SO tired in my pic), my meal plan, and my frosh kit. The frosh kit was pretty darn amazing. It all came in a huge sac (I assume it's for laundry) and it had free samples of Axe, Herbal Essences, Excel, Juicy Fruit, a Dasani water, a can of Dr Pepper, a Kit Kat bar, lots and lots of flyers and advertisements, a cup, a tube of toothpaste, kleenex, and loads of other useful frosh things. Later on Sunday, there was a frosh play in the auditorium. It was about "making the right choices" and other such things that squeaky clean, fresh-faced frosh should know about. After that I went on a campus tour, so that I'm not ridiculously late on the first day of classes, and I learned that all of the buildings are connected underground, so that you don't have to go outside in the winter! Sheer brilliance!
Before I continue, I must explain my residence. There are three sections, consisting of three floors each: B, M, and J. I am on the first floor of the B section, so we are called "B1st". So, on Sunday night, all of B section was called outside for a "mandatory meeting". First order of business: some healthy competition. Each floor was given one list of scavenger hunt items, and one hour to find them! I'll try to remember what I can: a green thong, a guy's leg shaved, members of the same sex kiss, a road sign, roadkill, porn, flavoured condom, sex toy, a camel toe, a frosh shirt from last year, yearbook and formal gift from last year, water from the pool, sand from the beach, and then there were things around campus, like how many tiles on the bowling alley floor, how many mailboxes, how many washing mashines, how many blue signs, how many floors in a given building, the loaction of the 2 headed cow, name all the floors of SSR (my floor is the beavers, and the rest have similar team-like names... they didn't want just the numbers), name all the RA's (like dons) in both my building and the on next to us AND give their floors, and other such nonsensical but still fun things like that.
After the scavenger hunt came another series of floor-on-floor activities. First, six people from each floor had to finish one case of pop (24 cans in a case), but to prove that you were done, you had to turn the can upside down over your head... Mine wasn't completely empty :( I have rootbeer in my hair. After that, four more people (maybe six, I don't know) had to chug 2 litres of maple syrup between them. Then, eight people lined up with 2 cups of pop each. The first person drank their first, the second drank their first when the first person was done, and so on until the eighth. The eighth person drank both of theirs, and then the seventh drank their second, then the sixth drank their second, and so on. The last activity needed two teams of 4 people from each floor. Each team was given a plateful of macaroni. The first person had one minute to eat as much as they could, and then it was passed down the line. When the second person got it, a cupful of salsa was dumped in. The second person had as long as they wanted, and when the third person got it, a cupful of strawberry jam was dumped in. Then when the fourth person got it a cupful of mayo was dumped in... and the fourth person had to finish it. That was a very disgusting smell...
So, the events of the night were over, and I came back and only stayed on msn until about 1:00am, and then went to bed.
BUT WAIT! At flippin 3:50am all of the people in B section who were second year or above were banging spoons on pots SO LOUD outside everyone's rooms! So we were all woken from our slumber and herded outside. They made us do horrible, horrible things like jumping jacks, and push-ups, and sit-ups, and the dreaded elephant walk!!! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
But we learned a new song:

SS once
SS twice
Holy jumpin'
Jesus Christ!
Wham bam, God Damn!
Son of a bitch,
SHIT!

Our anthem... Nice, eh? My favourite part about university life (so far) is the swearing. No one gives a fuck how much you swear, and the figures of authority do it all the time! It really is beautiful.
So after half an hour of gruelling torture, waking up other residences, and mindless chanting, they let us go back to bed. Stupid jerks. "We swear, this isn't hazing!"
So, after tossing and turning for another half hour, I finally got to sleep. And now I am here, on Monday morning. Two days before class starts... A little bit scared about classes, to be honest.

Ahh well, take it done day at a time, one class at a time...

Prom

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 23:35:35 GMT

I think I have to go to stupid prom alone. This isn't a ploy to get some guy to be like "Oh, Laura, I will totally take you to prom!" because I've already tried that. This is just a rant. I hate to admit it, but i AM one of those stupid girls who really doesn't want to go unless they have a date. Call me whatever, but I'll just feel so not cool if I have to go to yet another school function alone.
As my friends, please, tell me what's wrong with me! Honestly, I'm told that I'm nice and fun and pretty and whatever, but... is that not appealing to boys? I don't know.
I asked someone to prom, but he's a dick. End of story, and I know it's not going to happen. That almost makes it worse, though.
I hate prom! I don't even have a full dress yet! I have a skirt, but I need to have a top made... I'm beyond unmotivated.
Don't even get me started on tables...
Ahhh I hate it all! I wish prom would go away!
How ironic that I'm on the prom committee...

Sucky day...

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 17:48:27 GMT

I got a cold this week. I'm achy and sneezy and sore throat-y. Boo on being sick!

Anyway though, that's not the point of this post. THIS post is the announcement of the beginning of the end of my life. Want to know why? Well, I am trying to get into university with an average of 71%!!! That's first semester finals and second semester midterms, and my average is 71! Super, eh? And to put even more of a damper on things, Waterloo cutoff is mid-70's for my program. Maybe they'll love me? It's pretty discouraging that the only place I've been accepted to is in Bumfucknowhere. Well, Thunder Bay, but still. I don't think that's an option.
DAMN! How do I manage to royally screw myself over in every situation I find myself in? I know I don't work hard enough, and I know I don't always try my best, but I don't know what to do anymore! I would rant on about how this is probably my parents' fault, but then I would sound like even more of a brat than I already do. Fuckity fuck fuck. I'll be damned if I have to go back to high school for another year of bullshit.

Oh the stress. And boys! Boys don't help much either! But I suppose that's a whole other post in itself... Bah, useless creatures.

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 02:56:44 GMT

I just did a little "fill in the blanks" quiz thing, BUT I didn't want to make your Friends page superduper long, so voila. Read if you're interested, and if not, then ba humbug to you too!

.PRESENT.
-what's in your cd player: Maroon5 I think
-what color socks are you wearing: no socks!!
-what's under your bed: carpets, blankets, and monsters
-what time did you wake up today: 10:38am

.FUTURE.
-what is your career going to be: I don’t know, and I like it that way
-where are you going to live: many places
-how many kids do you want: three (maybe)

.CURRENT.
-current hair: light brown
-current clothes: jimmies and a sweatshirt
-current longing: summer, and a certain boy
-current desktop picture: john mayer!
-current favorite music artist: john mayer!
-current book: the odyssey
-current worry: midterms
-current annoyance: people (in general)
-story behind your username: haha, well… I fell in the pool!

-current favorite article of clothing: underwear or anything that makes me feel pretty
-favorite physical feature on a guy: it’s hard to describe. You know those two lines of muscles that lead from about the hips and go down towards the crotch area? Well, THAT. It’s so sexy. If you don’t know what I mean, ask.
-one person you wish was here right now: can’t say
-line from the last thing you wrote to someone: we’ll see
-i am happiest when: I’m alone, with some good music and a good drink
-i feel lonely when: I don’t know anyone around me?
-if you could live anywhere in the world, where: paris (france, not ontario!)
-famous person you have met: in person or in my dreams? Har har.
-do you have any regrets: nope
-sex or love: love
-favorite coffee: I don’t like coffee
-favorite smell: cucumber/melon flavored stuff
-what makes you mad: hypocrites, and people who try to be something they’re not
-favorite way to waste time: computer
-what is your best quality: I dunno… I’m pretty good at talking?
-are in currently in love/lust: nope
-what's the craziest thing you have ever done: ummm… went to france in grade nine? Went to an outdoor adventure camp with a broken arm? I guess I’m just not crazy…
-do you find it hard to trust people: nope
-last thing you bought yourself: a banana popsicle
-bath or shower: shower
-favorite season: summer
-favorite color: pink
-favorite time of day: morning (ish)
-gold or silver: silver
-any secret crushes: yes…

.FASHION.
-how many coats and jackets do you own: 3
-favorite pants: my jeans
-most expensive item of clothing: ummm my prom dress?
-most treasured piece of clothing: haha ummm I don’t think I have one

.LAST.
-last book you read: the odyssey
-last movie you saw on the big screen: I don’t even remember… someone take me to the movies!
-last show you watched on tv: Amazing Race!
-last song you heard: Don’t Speak by No Doubt
-last thing you had to drink: juice
-last thing you ate: lucky charms cereal
-last time you showered: a few hours ago
-last time you smiled: a couple minutes ago, when I laughed because Justin told me his grandma fell in the pool
-last time you laughed: well, I just told you…
-last person you hugged: my mom…
-last person you talked to online: justin
-last person you talked to on the phone: katie
-last person you kissed: dunno
-last person you hung out with: the people at work?

DO YOU.
-smoke: nope
-do drugs: nope
-drink: not often
-sleep with stuffed animals: not anymore
-have a crush: yes
-have a boyfriend/girlfriend: nope
-have a dream that keeps coming back: no
-play a instrument: nope
-believe there is life on other planets: possibly
-read the newspaper: sometimes, but mostly only the Saturday comics
-have any gay or lesbian friends: I don’t think so
-believe in miracles: I don’t know
-consider yourself tolerant: yes, somewhat
-consider police a friend or foe: friend?
-like the taste of alcohol: some
-believe in astrology: to some extent
-believe in magic: not really
-pray: no
-go to church: no
-got any secrets: yes
-have any pets: nope, my fish Kissyface died
-go or plan to attend college: well, university
-talk to strangers: sometimes, but usually only if they initiate the conversation
-have any piercing: twice in my ears
-have any tattoos: no
-hate yourself: no
-wish on stars: yes
-like your handwriting: not especially
-believe in witches: no
-believe in ghosts: no
-have a second family: no
-trust others easily: yes
-sing in the shower: yes!

Cross your fingers!

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 02:14:59 GMT

Midterms are April 20th. I want to get into Waterloo so bad. Let's just hope that life is good to me, and that I can manage to somehow get in, alright? I'll let you know.

It's been a while since I last updated (as I'm SURE you noticed) because there hasn't been too much to say. As far as school goes, it's the same old stress and boringness. And relationships... well, there haven't been any. There was almost one, which ended in me being uber sad about realising that he doesn't care about me the way he says he does, and there's a boy that I like now, but it's not gonna happen cause he's hung up on some other chick.

Today, I was teaching a level 12, and they were doing their endurance swim, which is 20 laps of the pool, so I was just walking around on the deck with my towel around my waist. As they were finishing, I climbed over a metal partition bar (thinger, whatsit, doodad, etc), and when I climbed back over it to go to the other end of the pool, I lost my balance and fell in! Towel and all! It was so embarassing... LeSigh. At least I can laugh, right? What a shmuck.

Ooo! Bonus! We got a pay raise a few weeks ago, so I went from making $11.72 per hour to $12.03 per hour! W00t! However, I only work about six hours per week.

Anyway, as always, I hope you have enjoyed the update of my most fabulous life (not).

+laura

Quzzum, because I'm bored

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 00:24:22 GMT

English Genius
You scored 100% Beginner, 92% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 76% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 77% on Beginner

You scored higher than 39% on Intermediate

You scored higher than 62% on Advanced

You scored higher than 78% on Expert

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

Because I am so tragically BORED!

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 04:50:37 GMT

*Stolen from miss Jenn, but the answers are mine*

1. First Name: Laura

2. Were you named after anyone? Yeah, my dad's uncle Lawrence (partly) and my middle name (Anne) is from Anne of Green Gables

3. Do you wish on stars? Yeah! For sure! The best view is at the beach...

4. When did you last cry? Yesterday I cried while watching an old episode of Gilmore Girls (Rory's grad?)

5. Do you like your handwriting? Not especially. It's kind of inconsistent.

6. What is your favourite lunchmeat? Umm... I dunno? I don't put much thought into this, and am not a big fan of the sammich.

7. What is your birth date? June 13, 1987

8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Hmmm... and why am I disclosing this information? Alright, possibly Abba, or some of my French ones.

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Like, duh!

10. Are you a daredevil? Not particularily... I'll try anything once though

11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Nope, not if I promised.

12. Do looks matter? To some extent, but they usually take a backseat to personality and other important attributes.

13. How do you release anger? Sometimes at other people, actually... Sometimes I just cry.

14. Where is your second home? I dunno, school?

15. Do you trust others easily? Sometimes too easily...

16. What was your favourite toy as a child? My ratty dolly named Annie. My parents actually threw her out I think... Then there was Tiffany the cat, Monkey Cookoo the monkey, and Ted the teddy bear.

17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Careers. Those who didn't have any plan whatsoever felt like SHIT for not knowing what they wanted to do with their lives at the age of fifteen. It was madness. Plus, I had Mr Stewart *shudder*

18. Do you have a journal? Only this one, which has begun to resemble my book ones; always beginning with "Wow, I haven't written in here in a while, here's what's new..."

19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Uhm, like, never! (<-- yeah, that was sarcasm.)

20. What are your nicknames? Laur, Laurla, Laurie, princess, and umm... let's see... scuzbag, snotface, aaaand booger. (Just kidding about those last ones. Please don't call me any of them.)

21. Would you bungee jump? Sure! I'll try anything once

22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope

23. Favourite Ice cream flavour? Ben&Jerry's Half Baked *drools!*

24. Shoe Size: monstrous... do you want to know? Alright, it's eight and a half, sometimes nine...

25. Colour? All of them!

26. Who makes you feel like a million dollars? Usually my mom, my Katie, and sometimes Sean... And you know, sometimes myself!

27. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? I don't have much self-control, and I've never given something my whole effort... But I'm generally satisfied with myself, and choose not to dwell on what's wrong!

28. Who do you miss most? Sean, and my pals in France.

29 Do you want everyone you send this too to send it back? Well, steal it for your LJ if you want, but other than that... How would you? Lol

30. What colour jeans and shoes are you wearing? My most favourite pair of blue jeans, and white ankle socks.

31. Last thing you ate? Hmm, possibly an apple?

32. What is the weather like right now? Night and cold. Snow on the ground, and I'm too lazy to check if there's more on its way.

33. Last person you talked to on the phone? My momma

34. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their face I guess? What they're doing/saying as well...

35. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I stole this from Jenn's LJ, but of course I like her! *gianthugs*

36. Favourite Sport? To play: swimming, baseball, football. To watch: hockey.

37. Hair Colour? Light brown, it's gorgey!

38. Eye Colour? Green (heh, jealous?)

39. Do you wear contacts? Nope!

40. Favourite Food? Bread

41. Last Movie You Watched? Girl, Interrupted (I stayed up until like 2am for that movie... such crap! I'd seen it before, but not since it was in theatres).

42. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy Endings always!!!

43. Hugs or Kisses? BOTH!!!

44. What Is Your Favourite Dessert? That thing we had at semi was good... tartufo or something? Otherwise, I'm not too picky when it comes to dessert!

45. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? no one!

46. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? everyone!

47. What Books Are You Reading? the second Shopaholic (it's crap!), and something else I think, but it must be crap too if I can't remember it...

48. What's On Your Mouse Pad? My mouse!

49 What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Girl, Interrupted

50. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Oh please! Do you even have to ask? Totally the Beatles

51. Do you believe in Evolution or Creationist? Neither... I'm kinda on the fence, and choose to believe that I wasn't here for it, so I'm just not gonna concern myself with it... It's not ignorance, but after a long time of thinking and debating, I figure that my simple mind is better off just letting sleeping theories lie.

52. What's the furthest you've been from home? I'm not sure of the exact mileage, but I'd say France; Nice is the southernmost city I was in, so I guess that's the furthest...

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 10:10:51 GMT

It's almost 5am now, and I've stayed up all night finishing an ISU that's due in about three hours. It's really pathertica, actually, considering how little I had to do for it. Ah well, I am a procrastinator at heart, and I shall remain one until the day that I get something done on time. Which will be never.

The break totally wiped me out and messed up my entire routine of things. I'd get up at 2pm and not go to bed until 2am, so now, I'm still going to bed really late (or not at all, in this case) but I have to wake up at 7:30am, which is madness. SO to counteract all that tiredness, I have been napping from 4pm to 7pm daily. But that doesn't work either, cause then I'm not tired when I should be. Therefore, I am very thrown off my biological schedule, and would like to be put back on track because I am in a permanent state of tired.

A few days ago I thought that I was really, actually happy for a change. Not that I'm not happy usually, just, everything seemed to be in perfect harmony and my future was looking really great... And I was thinking about how everyone seems to constantly talk about how they're tired (hah, guilty), stressed, worried, upset, etc. Which are all understandable, but it kind of makes me feel bad for being happy. Like talking to a friend, and that friend is upset about something, and feeling one of the aforementioned emotions, so it's not really appropriate to talk about how great you're feeling, when they are obviously upset. But wait a sec. THAT'S ALL THE TIME!!! When is it ever ok to talk about being really happy and satisfied with everything in your life? You are always going to make the other person feel like crap, or it's gonna come off like you're bragging to them! Discontentedness is so glorified.

Speaking of happy, I was very happy a few days ago. But as the week progressed, I've just realised now that I got uncreasingly upset. For instance, I was really excited about going to Waterloo, but now I find out that I have to maintain a 75% average if I want to stay in my program. I don't think it'll be too much of a problem for me, but just the pressure adds more stress to an already difficult situation. Also, I was all excited about a certian boy, and how he was talking about spending the summer together, and seeing eachother more frequently next year (cause he lives far from me right now). He even mentioned that if everything goes the way we want it to, we could end up together forever. Now I know that the chances of that are super slim, but it was just a happy feeling that he was thinking about us like that... Anyway, it's just been upsetting me lately that we only ever talk on MSN, the lowliest form of communication! It's so easy to misinterpret someone, which can really harm a relationship. For example, he never beings a conversation with me. No matter how long I'm online, I'm always the one to start conversations. How should I read that? Or should I even bother thinking about it at all, because things like that don't matter? Also, he doesn't seem to want to make an effort to keep a conversation alive. I can do my part, but if you don't throw the ball back to me once in a while, it's gonna be pretty hard to play catch! Maybe it's because it's MSN. Maybe it's because boys are just like that. Maybe I am thinking too much about it.
So there it is. I started the week on friggin cloud nine, and I'm back down to where I was before, or possibly even lower.
Well, at least now that I'm miserable too I can finally talk to people about it without feeling bad.

Haha, I'm not gonna make it through school today without a nap in at least one of my classes...
I should really go finish that ISU. Just finish it, and be done with ISU bullshit for the rest of the semester...

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 01:25:27 GMT

School is still shit, but I doubt that anyone wants to hear about THAT any more. Lol, it'll be chrimbo hols soon, so I'll be much less stressed in a week or so.

Anyway, two funny things happened today. One while I was on my way to the dentist, and the other was at the dentist.
The first one was a white car with a menorah on top of it. That's the big candle stick that you light at Hanukkah with seven (I think seven) candle holder spaces. Yes, very technical description. Well this guy had one on the top of his car! I had to do a double take, but underneath this huge menorah was a sign that said "Wishing you a Happy Hanukkah" Lol. It was a sight.
Then. I was sitting next to this Asian man in the dentist's office while I was waiting, and his wife came in shortly after I got there with like 8 bags filled with the exact same large box. And I'm thinkin "What in the world does she want with all the same thing?" Well. She starts jabbering away to her husband in some foreign language, and she only says one English word that I manage to pick up. Sale. Hah, that explains it.

Yeah, ok, so maybe those are prime examples of "you had to be there"-type situations, but they made me laugh anyway...

The only things that consume my being right now are school work and tiredness. It's really pathetico, and I think that should change. ISU's will be all done by the end of the week, and that makes me happy.

Here's to lots of sleeping in and relaxing over the hols.
Cheers!

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 05:38:12 GMT

It's 12:29am. I have an English ISU due tomorrow. It's a 1200 word essay and a 30 minute seminar. I have no essay. I have no seminar. Is there a point in even trying so late in the game?
And now here's the clencher. Since it's TAP tomorrow, the periods are only going to be about an hour. And since I'm the second person scheduled to present tomorrow, I might not have to go! On the off chance that it takes the class 15 minutes to settle, and Eric's seminar goes longer than expected... I just might have my prayers answered! Chances of that are probably rather slim. But then again, chances of me finishing a decent 1200 word essay tonight are even more slim. This is 20% of my mark! Do I do a shit job and just hope she'll accept my bullshit? Or should I take the gamble?
I loathe school. Really.

There's just no point right now. Anything I try to write now has little or no chance of being coherent anyway. Plus, I have not spoken to her at all about my thesis, sub-topics, ideas for my seminar, and so on. So will she take pity on me and let me go on Thursday? Oh but then that would back up the entire class. Yikes... Everyone would be behind schedule then. Can I do that?
Gah. Fuck it all.
I'm going to bed. I'll talk to her in the morning, and if she says I have to do my seminar regardless, then I will bullshit my essay at lunch. And I will vow to get 99% on the exam. Or better.

Wish me luck, and let's hope I don't die. Or melt. Or shrivel up.

P.S. I picked a university today. I'm sold on Waterloo. I need the marks though, so this English thing is pretty important... Damn myself and my stupid, stupid disorganization and lack of time management skills!

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 05:12:33 GMT

Lately, I just can't be arsed writing in here, but for now I am procrastinating, so I can fill you in on my lavish, exciting life!

Hah, not.

After an entire week of having either computer nor internet (Carlo had to come in to fix it... some Geek Squad guy), I finally have my baby back, and now the computer in my room is on the internet too! For the past couple years it's kinda just been sitting there, cause it was infected with many things, and it's a little out of date. It's only a Windows98, but I think we'll put XP on it, or at least 2000. And anyway, I don't need to use it for much more than the internet. So I log on after a VERY pathetic week of feeling lost without my technological connection to the world, and find the single person I've been dreaming of talking to. I start a conversation, and what do I get? "Can I talk to you tomorrow?" NO! You jerk! But no, I kept my composure and said yes. This was Monday. It's Thursday. I'm not quite sure of HIS, but my definition of tomorrow is the day following the present day, non? Anyway, still no sign of jerko.

School sucks, as usual. Nothing more to say than that.

My friends suck, as usual. I find it really, really terrible that everything has to fall apart in our final year. The number one year that we're completely stressed out about marks and university and relationships, and our "solid" friendships just crumble beneath us. The time that we need eachother most, and we just fade. Boo on vacations. Come back, Katie!

Anyway, it's Friday already and I really need to finish this English assignment. Due in a little over eight hours...

Promise me to hug the next five of your friends you see? You never know who REALLY really needs one... Most of the time I could go for a good one... Just try it, cause knowing that you care could make someone's day.

Ho hum

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 22:38:28 GMT

I have an English assignment for tomorrow, in which I must write a journal entry, letter, autobiography, biography, or a narrative essay (basically just telling a story). I think I'm gonna do the journal entry, so here's my practise! Haha, nah, I'm just here to make myself think for once today...

I've been pepped up a lot by someone lately to be confidant and fell good about myself... and I try, oh how I try. But how can I when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or something else reflective? I'm not trying to be down on myself and complaining about how I look, because I know I'm acceptible, and that lots of people have told me I'm pretty... I guess this is just one of those cases where my expectations are always elevated, and nothing lives up to them... not even me!

I've just had an epiphany (or a tiffany, in some cases) and I can't really say what it is, because it's a little toooo personal, but it's provided a wee bit of clarity.

I don't know why I feel the need to justify myself all the time, when this is my journal! I find myself saying things like "I don't mean to sound..." or "I don't mean..." you know? I'm sure I've done it already in this entry, it's just a force of habit. And I read somewhere, a quote from John Mayer who commented on exactly that: justifying yourself so that the way other people see you is acceptible to you. This is a perfect example of one of the theories I learned in one of my classes. I forget the title of it, but it basically said that you define yourself not by the way you see yourself, and not even by the way others see you, but by the way you think others see you. You know? So if you find yourself beginning to explain your way out of something, or justify something that you know you could back up if you had to, try not to, and I will too.

Ok, I'd better go write that damn entry now... Hahah, the real one :P

Ooo, does anyone know how to transfer an audio file from Winamp to an MP3 player? Please tell me because I might fall down with no good music!

You know it's sad when...

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 03:53:01 GMT

You know it's sad when I still have entries from June and July on my "most recent page." Yikes. I used to update this so often that I thought anyone who actually read it would be sick of me. But now, I just don't usually have the time or the will power to type something. But what is different about now, you ask? Well, I am procrastinating. One of the few things I can do well. I'm actually supposed to be writing an essay, and since I can't be arsed with solitaire, and there's no one on msn... you are my last resort :)
So here's what I have so far:
Every day the public is exposed to many forms of mainstream media: a newspaper, the news program on television, a radio show, etc. and every day their opinions, thoughts, and beliefs are changed or wavered because of the way the “facts” are presented. Consider this: if all of the forms of media consumed by one person are owned by one large corporation, how can that person be certain they understand every issue and story that is presented to them? Mass ownership of media types by one corporation guarantees the contamination of each one of their productions with the exact same bias.
The topic is the media's unfluence on the way we see world issues, or just shit in general. I have some really good key points written down, so I have an outline and everything... I just have to will myself to type it all out now :P Plus, I'm not exactly sure of the word limit. Comment if you want, and tell me how shitty it is so far :) Haha, I mean... Give me constructive criticism on my opening sentences, which are wonderfully written... *crickets chirping*

Happy Birthday to John Mayer today! He is now ten years older than me. At least it wouldn't be considered statutory rape anymore, right? It's not that gross... *rolls eyes innocently*

School is beyond stressful lately. I have essays and reports and presentations coming out of my ears. It's madness. And the thing is, all of the teachers who teach grade 12 classes know that we all get swamped with stuff and that we all have hard classes, but they let themselves think that THEIR class is our very hardest, and that justifies the 8 hour stack oh homework they give per night. (Ok, that one was a bit of a hyperbole, but you get what I mean). It's either that, or they just think that we don't have any other classes for which we are required to work, so they pile it on to keep us occupied. Darn it all to heck. This year is going to drive me bonkers.

I can't even begin to describe the plummeting states of nearly every one of my relationships at the moment. Friends, family, you name it, I have problems. My friends (or lack thereof) never really seem to care about what's happening to me. Now, I'm not trying to be like "Look at me, you guys!!!" but when I show interest in you and what you are doing, I expect that in return. A frienship, or any kind of relationship for that matter, has to be give and take, and I guess lately I feel like I've been giving and not getting.

My grandparents are living with us again. It's nothing new though, they have been living with us since I was little, going back home (Romania) for the summer and coming back for the rest of the year. This year though, it's really difficult for everyone. They are guests in our home. Their daughter (my mom) is grown. Despite all this, they still control everything concerning my brother and I. I feel that I am a responsible person, and I usually look out for myself (bed times, meals, homework, etc) and I don't really need my parents to govern me as much anymore. But of course, my grandma insists that I go to bed at 11 every night, because she doesn't understand that people are still on MSN late into the night, and that it might take me a long time to do my homework! Nearly everything that comes out of her mouth is negative, and it's usually concerning me and my lazy habits. Not doing my homework, or the laundry, or the dusting (wtf?), or any cleaning for that matter, watching too much tv, spending too much time on the computer, and so on and so on. It's madness. How can you love someone who aggrivates you SO much? My mom just tells me to ignore it and that we'll miss them when they're gone... I really wonder about that.
I bet you're sick of hearing about this, but I don't care because I need to vent and I'm not forcing you to read this. Gramma brought back a cross-stitched picture from the mother country, supposedly for me. I said thanks to be polite, and gave it to my mom cause they're pretty ugly. The following week, what do you think I found anchored to a wall in my room? You guessed it. Plus, she just takes it upon herself to put up more framed pieces, as if they were nice or something! If you don't fucken know me by now, after seventeen years, what the hell have you been doing??? Honestly! Take a look at what I wear, what I buy, how I act, and then rethink the stitched picture of a girl, framed in gold-painted wood (yes, it WAS horrendous). I really do appreciate the thought, but it's pretty evident that there wasn't much thought. Uggggh...

Ok. I think I am done. This year is gonna be pretty tough if I make it. I have a lot on my mind. I've had too many pity parties. Damn being young and dumb.

"Making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel." - Bart Simpson
Amen, brother.

</rant>

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 00:23:40 GMT

It seems that my LiveJournal is becoming just like all of my other failed diaries and journals. Every other entry begins with "Wow, I haven't written in here in a long time" and it just goes on to outline everything that's happened since I last updated! I don't think I've updated this since before the new update page was added...

School's fine. I have three ISU's out of four classes, and as of today I have topics for all of them. I've changed them like I change my underwear though, so let's hope that these ones are here to stay. I really need to do well on all of them, cause my marks need to be way up there this year.

I've been doing lots of thinking lately, about all the people in my life. I can't really post details, but I've come to some concluions about who I really need not concern myself with so much, and people who I appreciate.

Anyway, as weak of an update as this was, I really don't have much more to say. Woo for my exciting life, eh?

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 02:59:51 GMT

Your Birth Month (Meme)
Here's a meme I picked up that I thought was kinda cute.
Pick your birth month and cross (strike) out what doesn't apply to you.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

Oh man, it's all true! Seriously, read that again, and think of me when you read each attribute... It's almost exact.

Anyway, I'm still sick, and still pissed at my parents for no apparent reason. I'm pretty sure it's pms, so fear not cause it's almost over. w00t (hahahahaha "did you just say woot?" "no way man, i said w00t!")

I worked today, and picked up some extra shifts... I guess it's good for me to be working, and making monies. Ho hum.

Well, I'd better get to bed... I won't go now, because I have to get my daily fill of solitaire, but I'll go soon...

Ugggg

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 16:26:39 GMT

I'm sick. My glands are swollen, and therefore I have a sore throat, and I have a runny nose. It's not fun, especially seeing as there are a few things coming up which makes this very inconvenient. Oh well.

Things at school are fine, I suppose. So far I've had to do 2 essays, and have handed both of them in late. Now granted my teachers are saints, and I won't lose marks, but I still feel really terrible about being such a slacker. This year really really matters... I need an 80% average to get into Brock! Speaking of which, Brock is the ideal place for me to go, and it would be SO fabulous if I got in. 45 mins away, the cheapest res plans that there are, they offer the program I want, and it's far enough away so that my mom can't bug me to stay at home. If I don't get in, I'm going to end up going to some sucky place like Lakehead, or somewhere no one's ever even heard of! I may sound melodramatic, but I'm just not sure if I'm going to be able to pull off an 80 average. I want to get on top of everything. I want to have the first parts of my ISU's done early, so I don't have to worry too much about them... Only thing is, I need a friggin topic! For world issues I was going to do the Chernobyl nuclear accident, but my teacher said that Chernobyl would have to be the problem, but the bigger issue I would need to focus in on is the effects of nuclear accidents or something. And honestly, I'm just not intersted in that... So back to the drawing board on that one. For Individuals and Families in a Diverse Society (long enough course name, eh?) I have to do an ISU about the family. I don't want to pick something easy so much as I want to pick something that interests me, and that I will be able to find suffficient research for. I really should find myself some topics... I'm really scared about this year.

Anyway, sorry about that rant but I just had to say it all. It seems impossible.

I just told my mom that I was sick, and I want to try eating some lunch... So she tells me to go out and get whatever I want. Do you think I'm going to go out now? I can barely speak and I feel like I'm gonna hurl. Way to be a mom, mom. It's always been like this though. Don't get me wrong, cause I love her, but she's only a mom when she feels like it, it seems. She doesn't listen to me when I talk, and if she does she's always saying "yeah, uh huh, ok" right in the middle of what I'm saying! Now I'm sorry if I'm descriptive, or if I'm a story teller, but just fucken listen! It pisses me off to no extent. I've really tried to understand that she works really hard, and that she has to stay late sometimes, and that I shouldn't call her too much at work cause she's really busy. But she really can't spare five minutes to take a break and console me if I'm upset? Isn't that what a mother is for? I've always promised myself to be different, but more and more now I find myself saying things that I know frustrate me when she says them. Although, I've heard that girls grow up to be more like their fathers. (Thanks, Uncle John!). Now, I love my dad too, but there are things about him that I really can't stand either. Maybe I'm being a nit picky little brat by saying all this, but I never said that I didn't love or respect them, and I will always appreciate all of the opportunities they've given me. I think I'm just ready to get out. That's one reason that I want to live in residence when I go to uni...

Anyway, this entry is plenty long... Girls night tonight! And work tomorrow.... I'd better go get my homework done so I can actually do all this stuff... Eeep!

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 05:40:04 GMT

I've not had the chance to update my journal because my computer is still having issues. I don't know how, but by some miracle I am able to use it tonight, so cross your fingers and hope it lasts.

The last thing I remember wanting to write in here was about when I fell in a puddle while wearing a skirt. It was not very graceful, needless to say. I was having a very uncharacteristic bout of confidance, and was actually being quite a little stuff-strutter all day... And was put in my place shortly after. Oh well, at least now I can laugh about it... Actually, when I got in the car right after it happened, I chuckled a little, so I'm glad I can still look on the brighter side of things.

School has started up again, and I can't really put my finger on it, but this year feels really different. Maybe it's because I know that I have to work really, really hard? Or maybe it's because I'm so sentimental about my last year of high school? No matter, it's only one more year.
Out of eight courses this year, I have six ISU's to do. Six! That is inhuman! I really don't know how I'm going to pull everything off with fantastic grades as well, but I'm gonna try!

I started working again now too, and it's more fun than i remember. Everyone is so nice and things seem to be more laidback now. I can't put my finger on it, but something is better now than last session. For now, I'm only working short shifts here and there until lessons start in early October. Which I am dreading.

I applied for the SAC at school, and I have to admit that I'm really hoping to get in. I know it might be like a nerdy thing to be on student council, but I don't really care! The only thing I've been involved in at school is like choir... And really, does that even count? (...and you make lemonade! That one was for you, Katie!) So anyway, I really want to be part of something... does that make sense? And plus it would be cool to get a say in what happens this year, and to be part of the backstage stuff, so to speak. Although I am in grade 12, and I hear that since the entire exec is grade 12, they want some younger people so that every grade gets a say, and it's not only their grade rep. Boooourns. Cross your fingers for me anyway? :)

Ok, so there is my long overdue update :) It wasn't very lengthy, but that is because it is 1:40am and I am tired. Goodni- I mean good morning everyone!

Fun stolen from Shar!

Mon, 23 Aug 2004 16:31:35 GMT

YOUR PORN STAR NAME (NAME OF FIRST PET PLUS STREET YOU LIVE/LIVED ON): Trixie Thistledown

YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME (NAME OF YOUR FAVORITE SNACK FOOD PLUS GRANDFATHER'S FIRST NAME): Licorice Jack

YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME (FIRST WORD YOU SEE ON YOUR LEFT PLUS FAVE RESTRAUNT): December Montanna

YOUR FORIEGN ALIAS (FAV SPICE GIRL PLUS LAST FORIEGN VACATION SPOT): Ginger Sauble

"FLY GIRL" ALIAS ( FIRST INITIAL PLUS LAST TWO OR THREE LETTERS OF YOUR LAST NAME): L Mo (those are the first two letters, cause the last ones don't make sense :P)

DETECTIVE ALIAS (FAVORITE BABY ANIMAL PLUS WHERE YOU GO TO HIGH SCHOOL): Bunny Woodlands

BARFLY ALIAS (LAST SNACK FOOD YOU ATE PLUS YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK): Bagel Pina Colada

SOAP OPERA ALIAS (MIDDLE NAME PLUS STREET WHERE YOU FIRST LIVED): Anne Cedarglen

ROCK STAR ALIAS (FAVORITE CANDY PLUS LAST NAME OF FAVORITE MUSICIAN): Hubba Bubba Mayer

**************************************************************

Lol, that was fun... I had a very good weekend spent mostly with Katie! I spent way too much money shopping, but I'm really glad about my new coat. So chic.

On top of the other thing that's bothering me constantly, now I have messed up friends to deal with. Honestly guys, I thought we already made it past grade four. It's so frustrating and disappointing to see them acting so immaturely, but what can I do? Urgggh.

I've been home all alone since Friday evening, and today is Monday. It would have been much scarier if Katie hadn't spent the night (bless you) but I was a little *JOHN MAYER JUST CAME ON THE RADIO AND MADE MY DAY!!!* nervous last night, as I will be tonight. "One mile to every inch of your skin like porcelain..." I heart him so much.

Anyway, seeing as I'm at work I should probably get off here, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive! :) My interweb is very broken atm, so I can't get into my email or here unless I sneak on at work... I'm such a weasel.

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 16:54:51 GMT

I don't have very much time for a proper update, which I guess makes no difference because there is little or nothing to update about!

My hours for work are due on the fifth, and my mom's already on my case about it. I just have to pick some days and some hours to work which I think will not mess up my entire life, and give them to the pool.

I almost got a parking ticket the other day. It wasn't really as big of a deal as I thought it was I guess... Although the fine would have been $300... I got yelled at and shunned for one, offending the way I did, and two, getting away with it the way I did, so I won't post details.

The "thing" I am still uber confused about is still a problem that I need to get over. Like I said, it's petty, and I've thought about it a lot and weighed my options, I'm just terrible with decisions. There's too much to take into consideration and I am very, very overwhelmed with it.

Woo. So there's me in a nutshell lately. I'm done work in eight days (not counting weekends) and this Saturday I am very excited to be going shopping downtown with Katie. I've never been, so it should be a fun day! Bring your credit card, girlie...

Good old family reunions...

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 01:23:35 GMT

I wonder if it even counts as a reunion if you have one every year? Well anyway, there was one this year in Peterborough and I went today. It was my dad's mom's side of the family. She had a zillion siblings and all their kids and their kids' kids and so on. Actually though, there were not more than 20 people there. All in all it was pretty boring, and everyone was a senior citizen. Like, you know it's sad when your parents are the youngest couple there. Anyway, glad that it's over.

I've had a lot on my mind lately, but it's not really something I'm comfortable talking to other people about. I think I'm pretty insecure, so putting myself out there and telling someone what's going on would be too much. I'm too vulnerable as it is. This "thing" is sort of a decision. It's one of those decisions where you know the right choice, but there are far too many things that could sway you in the other direction as well. And me being young, naive, foolish (need i go on?) AND not to mention a Gemini, it's not a very good situation for me to be in. I'm not a star-thumper or anything, I just think astrology can be a guideline to someone's personality. A gemini generally has a split personality, so you can see how it would be hard for me to make a decision. Arggggh... It's really, really petty, and I shouldn't dwell on it the way I am.

Back to work tomorrow. Only three more weeks I think? I really want my last day to be the 31st, cause then registration day at school is the first, and then I can have a couple days off to relax, then a nice long weekend, and then start school. We'll see if I can pull that off...

Good thing I wore waterproof mascara...

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 03:17:38 GMT

Argg. Darn spyware made me lose my entry. Better keep this one short!
John Mayer concert was on Saturday and I'm lost for words because he was just SO amazing. Let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start). Haha, you know you loved that ;)

I took the bus from home to Square One, and then from there to the Islington subway station. Now, if you haven't heard the "Lost in the outskirts of Paris" story yet, then you don't know how terrible I am with public transportation, and therefore would not be able to appreciate how overjoyed I was when I actually arrived where I was supposed to! So I took the subway one stop to meet my cousin (after fending off creepy brown men) and we got another bus to Ontario Place. The walkk from where the bus let us off to the Molson Amphitheatre seemed like the longest trek I've ever had to make. Now, excuse the France reference again, but I survived THAT and still this seemed longer. So we made it in time to see the last half of DJ Logic. No offense to him, but it wasn't a big loss. Maroon5 came on shortly after that, and they were pretty good! The lead singer was VERY sexy, but you could sorta tell he was still getting used to stardom and being on stage. I think that would explain his spasms and jumping around. Their set list was surprisingly long, which was great! They played I think more than half of the songs on Songs About Jane, and one new one. So after they played for an hour, the stage was reset and cleaned up, and then HE came on.
Call me what you will, but I burst into tears when he walked on stage. For the first three songs (no joke) I could not stop the water works! When I finally did, I just stood there in awe. He is amazing to me. I won't go on and on saying why, but just... see? Speechless.
I spent that night at Erin's (cousin) house. Surprisingly, we get along really well. As younger kids we never really spent time together, but we seem to be getting pretty darn close lately. She's already made plans to take me to a bar and get me hammered for my 19th birthday. Thanks, Er.
The following morning we ordered pizza (we got up at 11:30) and watched seven uncut episodes of Family Guy on tv. A new definition for laziness, I think. My mom took us out for dinner and then I finally got to come home and get some sleep! Trying to stay conscious and deal with dumbasses on the phone this morning was definitely a challenge. I'm filling in for the receptionist this week, so I'm answering calls and all that jazz. It's pretty boring cause I did all the work I was supposed to do this week last week. So now I kinda have nothing to do... Lol, not like I could do anything though cause the phones never stop ringing. Ok, yes, now I know that I am rambling. I will stop typing now, and just pray for Friday.

P.S. I hope to negotiate with work people that my last day will be August 31st. I deserve a break, don't I??? I gave up my whole summer! I really hate hearing about what a fabulous summer everyone is having, because I am stuck at a deathly nine to five job while everyone else is doing regular teenager summer stuff. I have no problem with working in the summer, but part-time, you know? Take yesterday for example. My friends all went to Wonderland, without me. Given, it was a Sunday and I was available, it has just become a monthlong routine that Laura's working and so when I am free, I never get to do anything. Ahhhhhh... Just my luck.